Life Updates : Melambung Jauh

                           With you,
                           With you,
                           I wish we had another time,
                           I wish we had another place

Now Romeo and Juliet,

Bet they never felt the way we felt,
Bonnie and Clyde,
Never had to hide like,
We do,
We do

You and I both know it can't work,

It's all fun and games,
'Til someone gets hurt,
And I don't,
I won't let that be you

Now you don't wanna let go,
And I don't wanna let you know,
There might be something real between us two, who knew?

Now we don't wanna fall but,
We're tripping in our hearts and it's reckless and clumsy,
'Cause I know you can't love me here

I wish we had another time,
I wish we had another place,
But everything we had is stuck in the moment,
And there's nothing my heart can do (can do),
To fight with time and space 'cause,
I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like Adam and Eve,
Tragedy was our destiny,
Like Sunny and Cher,
I don't care,
I got you baby

See we both,
Fightin' every inch of our fiber,
'Cause ain't no way,
It's gonna end right but,
We are both too foolish to stop

Now you don't wanna let go,
And I don't wanna let you know,
That there might be something real between us two, who knew?
And we don't wanna fall but,
We're tripping in our hearts and it's reckless and clumsy,

And I know you can't love me here

I wish we had another time,
I wish we had another place,
But everything we had is stuck in the moment 'cause,

I'm still stuck in the moment with you

See like,
Just because this cold cold world saying we can't be,
Baby, we both have the right to disagree,
And I ain't with it,
And I don't wanna be so old and gray,
Reminiscin' 'bout these better days,
But convention's telling us to let go,
So we'll never know

I wish we had another time,
I wish we had another place,
'Cause everything we did,
And everything we have is stuck in the moment,
Yeah

I wish we had another time,
I wish we had another place,
But everything we have is stuck in the moment,
And there's nothing my heart can do,
(Nothing my heart can do),
To fight with time and space 'cause, (and space)
I'm still stuck in the moment with you,
Yeah,

Kenapa gue suguhin lirik Stuck In The Moment by suami sehidup semati gue (re: Justin Bieber) di awal? Karena gue emang lagi bener-bener stuck dalam momen itu. Iya, momen itu yang buat gue selama dua hari ini tiap mau tidur dan memejamnkan mata selalu wajah dia yang muncul.

Gue tau gue bohong karena gue bakal nulis lebih banyak pharagraph tentang dia.

Fuad.

Iya, emang dia lagi. Kenapa ? Bosen? Bodo amat. Gue gak perduli. Dia adalah orang yang paling bisa bikin gue seneng tanpa harus berusaha. Gue suka dia. Gue suka pake banget. Gue tau gue labil atau perasaan gue yg labil? Ah , gatau deh. 

Gue gak ngerti kenapa Tuhan senang mempermainkan perasaan gue. Bukan Fuadnya. Tapi Tuhanku, pencipta semesta alam, Allah SWT. Tuhan lagi seneng banget ngasih gue kejutan-kejutan yang makin aja bikin gue bahagia+bersyukur. Kenapa gue bilang Tuhan seperti seakan-akan mempermainkan gue? Ya, gue bingung. Setiap kali perasaan itu mulai hilang, Tuhan memberikan momen kejutan yang sangat amat wow. Entah udah berapa kali ini terjadi. Tapi sumpah, hari rabu kemarin adalah kejutan yang paling gue suka dan paling indah.

Gue bingung harus mulai cerita dari mana. Karena to be honest, empat hari kemarin emang asik bangeeeettt. Sekali lagi, gue sangat bersyukur sama Allah SWT. Semuanya tuh jadi satu paket. Gak bisa di deskripsiin deh gimana bahagianya gue setelah udah lama gak bahagia.

Things I want to do and I like:

-        Jalan –jalan (Esp ke Jawa)

-        Kelas II Sosial 2

-        Tidur bareng temen-temen di hotel

-        Ngeliat sawah yang luas

-        Ke Pantai

-        Fuad

-        Foto bareng Fuad

 

Alhamdulillahirabbil’alamin, semuanya tercapai. Sebenernya masih ada banyak lagi hal-hal kecil yang bikin gue sueneng bangeet, cuma itu tadi emang yang paling mantep. Asik banget. Gaakan bisa lupa. Terlalu indah.

Iya, bener gue foto bareng Fuad. HAHA *sombong foto bareng gebetan*

Gue juga sebenernya agak agak gak percaya, bahkan lebih kayak mimpi. Gak pernah kepikiran foto bareng dia dengan background bis sama warung soto bakso. Gue emang ada niat penget fotbar, tapi nanti pas wisuda. Tapi ternyata eh ternyata , dikabulin sama Allah hari rabu kemarin pukul 05.01 sore Waktu Indonesia Barat. Kalo lu nanya, gimana perasaan gue saat itu?

Gak karuan. Gue udah kayak orang gila ngelendotan sama Rara. Awalnya gue gak ada kepikiran pen foto bareng dia karena emang hari pertama itu gue udah agak biasa aja sama dia, cuma deg-degan dikit doang, tapi koq hari selasa apa lagi hari rabu itu cowok satu bikin hati gue jedor jedor. 

Jadi, setelah Salwa berhasil foto bareng sang gebetan berkat gue, entah kenapa gue jadi pengen setengah mati juga foto bareng dia. Apalagi backgroundnya pantai, kan mantep. Eh tapi pas di pantai kayaknya kehalang banget akhirnya jadilah gue hopeless. Selama jalan balik ke bis, di belakang gerombolan Fuad yang agak jauh, gue ngelendotan ke Rara sambil komat-kamit melas ke Rara “Ra, gue pengen foto bareng Fuad. Pengen pake banget, Ra”

Mungkin karena Rara kasian sama gue, begitu pula Dita sebegai sahabat sejati, dan Salwa yang merasa perlu balas budi, jadilah gambar dua orang dengan latar belakang bus pariwisata dan warung soto bakso. Si cewek senyum kaku idiot, si cowok pun senyum dikit ganteng unyu cekrek. Satu cekrekan itu bikin hati gue adem dan meluap-luap (entah kenapa gue gak deg-degan saat itu) dan muka gue panas.

Gue berterimakasih dan sangat bersyukur kepada Allah SWT yang sudah membuka hati Fuad untuk bilang “Oh iya boleh boleh ayok” sambil senyum saat si Salwa bilang “Fuad, Salsa pengen foto bareng lu” 

Mungkin itu memalukan, masa ceweknya yang mau foto, kan cewek yg harusnya dikejar. Begitulah kata orang-orang. Tapi sumpah demi apapun, gue gak perduli.Gue suka sama dia. Tapi dia gak. Mau sampe kapan gue harus nunggu dia ngajak gue foto bareng? Jadi, yaudahlah ya apa salahnya pengen foto bareng? Toh, dia juga keliatannya oke oke aja meskipun gue gatau apa yg dia pikiran saat itu. Bisa jadi dia ngerendahin gue atau gabisa mikir karna bingung dan takjub sama keberaniaan dan kesaltingan gue yg memalukan.

Oh iya, ada satu cerita dari Salwa yang bikin gue ngakak banget. Jadi, waktu hari rabu siang itu (entah kenapa hari rabu kemarin jadi  hari rabu terindah), kita abis selesai seminar di UGM nah pada sibuk foto-foto kan tuh. Si Fuad ini orangnya narsis abis, jadi dia waktu itu kayak pengen foto di sebelah tiang lampu dan nyuruh temennya untuk fotoin, tapi pas dia liat gue dateng, dia langsung buru-buru bialng ke temennya “Eh gajadi deh entar aja”. Terus pas udah agak jauh dia baru foto (Based on Salwa’s story).

Sumpah demi apapun gue ngakak denger  Salwa cerita gitu. Anjir ya tu orang, apa banget deh. Emang kenapa dengan gue? Sampe batalin foto sama tiang hahanjir. Hari rabu itu jadi hari rabu terindah buat gue, ada di Jogja, foto bareng Fuad, dan tau kalo dia salting karena gue. Maafkan atas kepedean ini, tapi gue gak perduli. Karena gue tau, gue mungkin 80% bener tentang hal itu.

Dan tau kalimat apa yang beberapa kali gue denger dari temen-temen gue? Itu kalimat simple. Tapi selalu aja bisa bikin gue meleleh.

“Sal, tadi dia ngeliatin lu”

Fuad, I know you don’t love me as I do to you . I know you don’t know about me as I do about you.I know you don’t think so much of me as I do of you. But, let me tell something to you. 

You are, the first person ever, that ever been making me that happy for three straight days. You are special. Know the reason?  Everytime I close my eyes before go to sleep, I always see you smiling sweetly. 

I am soo happy you said yes and willing to let my friend to take a picture of us.Us. Finally, it could be us. Not only me. Altough, it is just a photograph. I know maybe it means nothing to you. But for me, it is the most precious right now. Thankyou. Even tough I don’t really know what you’re thinking about me. 

All I know is, I have a picture of us. 

I was standing behind you when you turned your head looking for me. Wondered why I didn’t stand next to you. You didn’t say a word to me. But a gaze is enough for now.

I am so happy. It’s more than I expected. 

Thankyou, I love you.

++++++

 25 Februari 2016